Episode Transcript

Do you know this thing where you’re about to speak or while you’re speaking English, you have all those negative, repetitive thoughts coming up. Things like, “You made a mistake.” “Oh, you’re going to sound stupid.” “Don’t say that, that doesn’t make any sense.” “You sound funny.” “You mispronounced it.” “You made another grammar mistake.” “They’re gonna think you’re stupid.” So on and so forth.

And let’s agree that these thoughts are not serving you, right? Because you already know they’re counterproductive and they are ruining your confidence showing up and speaking in English. So what I’m going to do in this video, I’m going to teach you something really simple that is going to help you deal with those negative, repetitive thoughts and help you speak with more confidence and fluency in English.

But before we begin, if you are new here, then welcome to my kingdom. My name is Hadar, and I’m a speech and fluency coach, and I’m here to help you feel confident, speak clearly and have the freedom in English that you have in your native language. So if you’ll find this video valuable, then consider subscribing. And when you do, click on the bell to get notifications, just to make sure that you don’t miss out on the important videos.

So let’s go into what you need to do when you start driving yourself crazy with all those negative thoughts that are not serving you. Before I’m going to tell you what you need to do when you start these negative thoughts, I want you to remember that these negative thoughts are your fears, insecurities and beliefs that you have about yourself, coming up to the surface as you start speaking in English.

If this is something that you have ideas about, or you’ve been told before that you don’t sound clear, or you have an accent, or you’ll never be able to learn English – that develops negative beliefs, beliefs that prevent you from fulfilling your full potential. And as a result, you start believing these things, and these beliefs are manifested in those repetitive thoughts. Or on the contrary – you start having these repetitive thoughts and ultimately forming a belief. A belief is not reality.

So that means that these are just thoughts, and as such, they don’t represent our true reality. Even if you feel that you’re stupid, it doesn’t mean that you’re stupid when you’re speaking English. Even if you feel that your accent is thick, it does not mean that other people feel that too, or that you are unclear, or your belief about having a thick accent may not be the belief that everyone holds.

So, remember that these are just thoughts. And as such, because you are the thinker of your thoughts, these thoughts can be changed. And the way we’re going to change them is through pattern interrupt. Pattern interrupt is something that we do to break a certain pattern that we have. In this case – these negative repetitive thoughts.

We are human beings. And as human beings, we are creatures of patterns. It allows us to live life in a more automatic way. Like, you know, brushing your teeth or driving to work. When you drive to work, you’re not like thinking about where you’re going to take the next turn; or you’re not thinking about navigating the car between the cars, you’re doing it on autopilot. Right? And then, for example, let’s say something happens, like there is a traffic jam that is unexpected, or all of a sudden, they block the road – that creates a pattern interrupt. And you all of a sudden start becoming more conscious of your reality and you start thinking differently than you normally would.

Same thing with brushing your teeth. Let’s say, every day you go in the morning to the bathroom, you brush your teeth and that’s it. And one morning, you go to the bathroom and then you reach out to grab your toothbrush and you can’t find it. And it’s nowhere to be found. Right? All of a sudden, you’ll start thinking about the fact that you need to brush your teeth. Automatically, usually, you don’t think about it – it’s something that happens automatically. But once the pattern has been interrupted, then you start thinking about what it is that you’re doing.

So, your pattern right now is to start having those negative thoughts and the negative self-talk every time you’re about to speak English, every time you think about English or every time you are speaking English. And that is a pattern. So just like with the previous examples, we want to break that pattern. And how do we do that? With two simple words. “Stop it”. That’s it.

“Oh, my God, Hadar, you sound so bad. Your English is awful. You sound like a fraud…”

“Stop it!”

“You keep making mistakes, even though…”

“Stop it!”

“And people are gonna make fun of…”

“Stop it.”

“They’re gonna think I’m stupid.”

“STOP IT!”

“But…”

“Okay.”

As you can see, those negative thoughts are your pattern. And simply saying, “Oh, stop it!” will help you to interrupt that pattern. The pattern feels safe and familiar, but we got to step out of what’s familiar if we want to create change in our lives. So a change in pattern creates change in the results that we see in our lives.

And remember, you’re not creating those thoughts every time you start speaking English, it’s your pattern. And the pattern interrupt – simply saying “stop it” – will help you think for yourself; and recognize that this is not serving, you don’t have to continue with that and you can change it. Because you are the thinker of your thoughts. And you can truly see different results if you change how you think. That’s it. So, simply “stop it”.

Thank you so much for being here. I am truly honored and grateful to serve you. And remember, speak up because mistakes is the only way to learn. Have a beautiful day, and I’ll see you in the next video. Bye.